its been a long time

havent been writing for a long time..suddenly find myself staring at this empty blog.Life is passing by so quickly nowadays.Lets just see if I can recollect some things here.First quarter of the year was full of surprises , both Mum and Dad were hospitalised for various reasons , very close after one and another , had some personal issues now and then , kids busy with their own lifestyle , life changing decisions made in recent  weeks.

One thing I've learnt is, there can never be an infinite satisfaction ,all you  got to do is be yourself and lead your own life.I'm trying to lead mine with my family, whether for better or for worse only time will tell.But its a step I rather take than not taking any at all.Insyallah , it will work out.Amin.

Angel eyes :)

After much overdue and surpression , my black beauty is getting her angel eyes .I dont believe much in souping up cars/machines but, this time around , after much thinking and considering that its been 6 yrs since I had her , my birthday coming up as well , what the heck .As long as it makes me happy . So there.Everything else will come to a standstill. :)

trials and tribulations of 2011

Boy ooo Boy , I certainly didnt know 2011 is going to be challenging one for me. Hardly had time to jot down a few lines , and new things will crop up.Heck , it's my blog and i'll write whatever i want..

Past few weeks been thinking a lot bout home and my folks , and I guess there's a reason to it.Mum is not too well with her spine and osteoporosis , Dad now has a new health problem which will inevitably require surgery , and I'm so called the Consultant guy whos able to treat everybody else except for my own parents.What irony is this.!!

Amenda aa lu ni bro , its times like this when I just want to huddle up in one corner and wish I could just turn back time again . Otak dah jadi caca marba daa..Life is so full of ups and downs , and thats what makes us more mature so they say.Well , mine is like a yoyo right now , and everytime i try to recover from the dizziness , I get spinned all over again.Maybe its hitting the big magic number 40 , midlife crisis ?? that's adding on to all this. Maybe.

The future is sooo uncertain now , and just when I thought I had it all covered.Just goes to show , Allah maha berkuasa dan Maha menentukan.Allah , my prayers  to you to grant me the strength to get through whatever path you have laid before me , and that I fulfill the best of my capabilities of being a good son , husband , father brother and friend to all.

Please guide me in all my undertakings and decisions , as Only Allah knows  whats best for me. Aminn

 

2011 anyone ?

thought i'd break the silence for this new year.Banyak benda happening and needs to be done , ikutkan nak tulih banyak banyak , but I'm due for JB tomorrow , mata pun dah ngantuk , sambung balik kalu panjang umor.Yang pasti , aku tetap bersyukur dapat merasa lagi kehidupan sementara ini.
Nanti story lain

Cold coffee anyone ..?

Unjii ' cold coffee' kudhi .. ? Ais jasti bedhaa , milk salpa salpa... literallly means " one cold coffee please , not too much ice , just a little bit of milk..Ahhh that reminds me of my medical student days , huddled in one corner at the crampy hostel canteen , with my comfort drink whenever I get stressed up with exams or anything else for that matter . I swear nowhere else can you get the best cold coffee day or night , cost only 2 rupees then. 

Similiarly now , after a long day , the kids sleeping , a long operating list awaits me tomorrow , and I find myself going back to the same place , longing for that addictive taste.More so with my machas , tall dark and handsome Mr Slurrpee Greasy , Kiasu Chinaman , Mr Midget the Bean , Mr Tiger , and Muhilaaaaa ( names are intentionally changed daa , less they somehow find this post and start revealing my skeletons. ha ha ..) and me. Hey , we were pretty much 1 Malaysia already back then. Talking bout home cooked food , gym stuff , Gladrags , amoi's ( there was one in particular ha ha , sorry Mr Slurrpee ) , bikes , and what lies in store for us in future. Fast forward that 13-14 yrs to present day , and hey presto ... we didn't so bad after all. In fact not bad at all.We still are close machas till now , although each with our own commitments . Give us a day and each of us will automatically transform into that young studds again , I'm sure. Minus the extra bellies  and spare tires ,of course , :)

My kids are about to have their school play rehearsal soon, daughter doing her choral speaking , son struting his stuff on the stage too. Dad about to have his cataract operation soon after that , and I have to sort a few things for my siblings as well. Seeing my parents last weekend was the best thing so far for this year end , as we managed to catch up on a lot of things , esp my mom.  Dad ,is as usual with his quiet ways just like me , but deep down we know each other well enough that things rarely need be said. Those white hairs are everywhere now , and physically getting slower , but the love remains if not stronger. 

We all had a dinner outing that night , my treat . Very happy to see Dad enjoying his Lamb chop , Mum with chicken chop and everything western the kids and wife would like to have . Me , I had my cold coffee , enjoying my beef steak , but subconciously aware that these may be the few rare happy moments that I can cherish with them . I am afraid of losing them , as I am what they made me of today . Moga dipanjangkan umur , murah rezeki , sihat tubuh badan dan akal fikiran , Insyallah , Amin Ya Rabbil Alamin.Mum and Dad , we love you much.

Macha !!! Unji Cold Coffee kudhi , bega maree , beggaa begga. 

Desperately need one now.

Missing my wife and kids..

I'm sitting all alone here in my hotel room , which will bear with me for the next 6 days. Sigh , it's been hours ago since I had played with my wife and kids , washed the car porch , washed the car , wash the aquarium filter and water the plants. My son was acting rather wierd when I started to pack my bags and put stuff in my car , told him to do his homework and be good while I'm gone.

Also told my daughter the same when I took her to the clinic this morning , probably down with contact dermatitis. The youngest one was hugging on to his milk bottle for dear life , as usual.

Things were totally different when I started the car engine . Eyes swelled , watery , and with little sobs from them , my son especially. Hmm , broke daddy's heart to see that but daddy can't show it in front of Mommy and everybody else . You will all be very close to Daddy's heart , wherever Daddy may be.Funny when I actually thought I'd be glad without all the tantrums and mischieves for a while when I'm actually not . I am sorry, honey, for letting you looking after the kids by yourself.

This hotel maybe streaming full of people , in and out . For now , it seems very empty and lonely to me .

Writer's block

ever had that frustrating day / feeling when you think you can do it but the mood and circumstances just doesnt favor you ?

i've been doing oncalls on every alternate day such that my kids are barely seeing me cept when i send and fetch them to school , and dinners would be a quick one if ever we manage to sit down and eat together. Plus , I've got to submit two chapters of my book for the editors to comment before they procced with any formal agreement.

I sincerely hope that I'm not biting more than I chew , and that things will and should fall into place once I get the ball rolling.

Baru balik Kedah last week , kenduri kawin anak Mak Teh. Best part was dapat salam dengan MB Kedah , very excited and still am about it.The trip was as usual , the tantrums in the car , the endless stops to the loo , the mad drivers and traffics plus the sucking toll stations , to and fro it was almost a 20 hr journey. Sib baik boleh gilir gilir driver , otherwise gerenti ada yang tido tepi jalan dulu.

Going to Penawar JB this weekend till whole of next week , harap my family boleh survive and aku pun boleh survive without them for a while.Anak nak periksa penggal , baby boy asyik dok tantrum ,..lets face it , every parents akan ada ups and downs. No point groaning and arguing , suck it up and just do it the best we can.

As for the book , kena tunggu jap , my son just had poo poo , gotta go for nappy change.